25 Names That Will Make Your Kid Hate You Forever

Nope…

A lot of parents are pretty excited about naming their first infants.  It’s something of a matter to be all cheery over, but sometimes, it takes a special kind of “unique” to come up with a name that’s unlike any other.  By unique, we not only mean in a positive and smile-inducing manner.  We also refer to people who are just so far out there in terms of ideas that they decide to give their kids the wackiest names possible.  Sure, you may think it’s all cool, but wait until your child eventually grows up and realizes just what a mistake you’ve made on giving them names such as these.

I have absolutely no idea how anyone sane would ever come up with this name. It’s not like your child’s going to grow up to be a member of the Bloods or Crips, you know? Even worse, they’re not going to be some comic book villain. With that name, you’re practically forcing their destinies upon them already.

Wait… Yeah, nope.

So, you just named your child Phelony. We can already see the lame crime jokes coming in her future. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with her, we bet. It’s just you that committed the actual felony here, with your child awaiting a whole lot of emotional and social scarring upon growing up.

No way…

We fondly remember the days when names were just kept simple. They were easy to say, remember and spell out. However, it seems that a name like this is just asking for way too much effort. Why would you even want to use Talightacandle? What, you’re relegating your child to doing just exactly that for a living?

Nope to the maximum.

Well, your friend sure does need therapy. Naming her kid like that is just… We don’t know anymore. We can’t even find the right words to describe such a situation. We give points for creativity, but so many negatives for stupidity.

Nope nope nope…

Well, since you’re into the goth-emo-punk rock scene, it looks like, we’ll excuse you. At the same time, we wish we hadn’t. It’s just totally unfair to give your child a name that looks like a stage moniker. It’s not like they were planning to be in an actual rock band just yet, unless you’ve decided that for them already.