All seven of your Saturday morning voicemails are always from this girl. Most of them are of her thinking she is actually having a conversation with you. “You are the best friend ever. Like literally ever. You are so perfect, I just want to make out with your face.” Without these girls, how would we know that we have friends who love us at 2:30 in the morning?
She never listens when you tell her heels aren’t a good idea. Just look for her on Monday; she’ll be the one who shows up to class in a sling and a walking cast.
Every. Single. Time. You start to create a point system for this girl: 10 points if she makes it in the trash can, 20 if she makes it in the toilet. 50 points if she manages to put her hair up by herself first.
Don’t invite this girl out for drinks at Applebee's on a Tuesday night, because it won’t end well. When it comes to drinking, it’s all-or-nothing for this girl; sipping casually on a glass of wine isn’t an option. She’s the one who gets kicked out of the bar, loses her sixth spare key of the week in the sewage grate and resorts to passing out in the quad. And yet, somehow, the girl is miraculously never hungover in the morning. Usually, she’s just still drunk.
Apparently her boyfriend doesn’t exist whenever she is within 500 feet of a bar past 11 p.m.